My ESC-experience, so far

I came here with little to no expectations and even less experience. Before my application process I never even heard about Georgia at all, yet still just decided to go for it. To make the jump into something so completely new that I would be forced to change and adapt. And change I did. A lot, back and forth, discovering new principles for myself, only to realise later I had to throw them aboard again.

Inspired were many of these evolutions of course mainly through the obstacles I had to face here during my stay. So far, I´ve been here for about seven months and looking back I can already put different phases in order, starting with the pure amazement and ecstasy I felt in the first few weeks. From what I know and what I heard that seems to be the typical reaction when coming to any ESC project really, especially when you never lived abroad before. Upon my arrival I was welcomed by so many new people in a matter of days. It gave me an opportunity to get to know quite a lot of different characters, personalities with different aspirations while most of them were of course sharing the notorious Georgian way of life, that I would later find would confront some traits of mine I wasn´t fully aware of. In these early stages I also was also lucky enough to be invited on many trips by my at the time only roommate, who, through all the time, discoveries and emotions shared, would later become one of my dearest and closest friends and one of the biggest gains I will take with me, upon leaving in September. But concentrating back on the travels we made I have to say that these showed me not only the astonishing nature this country can offer, but also the incredible measure of kindness one might be able to come across, that, at least for me, would be unthinkable back in Germany. My favourite example so far is one of the first trips I made here, to Kazbegi.

We were only supposed to stay for a single night and wanted to see Truso valley on the way back, hitching a ride there. After a long time without any car stopping for us, finally a young couple had mercy with us, but unfortunately had a different route home, so they left us to our fate. Disappointed we almost took the marshrutka home, after 30 more minutes of waiting, when suddenly the two from earlier came back for us. They said they never saw the valley themselves and wanted to go hiking there together with us. We ended up fighting the mountains in unbearable heat for several hours but were so euphoric to be there. And the views, it was all worth the effort to be there.  In the end we did not make it back soon enough to still find a ride back to Tbilisi though, let alone Rustavi. A bit helpless, being stranded there, our plan was to simply return to the guesthouse and ask for another night. But our new friends had other plans, they instead offered us to stay with them and spend the evening as well. We got ourselves some drinks and had a fantastic night. I was at that point already in deep shock, that people could be that selfless and so hospitable, yet it wasn´t the end of it. Because next morning of course we missed the marshrutka again. We saw it driving past us when they brought us to towards the stop. We swung the car around in the middle of the street and chased after it like crazy, honking and yelling at the driver to hold and take us. Luckily, it worked. We found ourselves on the way back home, smiling and astonished by our first trip to the mountains.

This was just the first time I was confronted with the kindness of some people here, but not the last. Connected to that is also that I learned to travel hitching rides spontaneously. Its so much more fun, most of the times, and sometimes even simpler or more convenient than going through the city to find the right marshrutka only to wait for it to depart, not knowing when it might do so.  At the same time hitchhiking was also one of the first opportunities to find out about aspects of life here I cannot be content with. When traveling alone with my roommate in the beginning it wasn´t as visible, as we were sometimes asked whether we were married, or a couple, and by who we were not asked probably just assumed to be, which to me could already be uncomfortable at times. But later when she was hitching on her own or with another girl, when taking taxis, when meeting someone randomly or whenever making new contacts, women would be approached in inappropriate ways, sometimes in more, sometimes in less but still creepy ways and sometimes even pushy by respectless men imposing themselves. Now one might ask why that would be a problem or big deal for me, guy, as I´m not the one having to cope with the constant harassment, it still hurts me to see my friend and others forced to be extra careful, even so reluctant to meet new (male) people. From this builds up such distrust and a stereotype that has just become a running-gag amongst us. Even though for anyone interested it´s definitely better to read women´s experiences first-hand and how they feel about it.

When it comes to daily life here, in Rustavi I also made quite ambivalent experience. The pandemic and its consequences were at times barely noticeable so that I was happy to be here, while life in Germany basically came to a full stop. Then again when the lockdown started here in November it was a time of uncertainties where I had to realise how much I do miss some more systemic and efficient approach. To not announce new regulations just up to three days before implementation, the ability to trust the government on their promises for weeks to reopen over Christmas instead of them withdrawing their plans just one day before, ultimately preventing any senseful long term planning. For people to obey their own rules and citizens to wear masks on mandate, properly. All of that always felt so random at times when a clear structure and a well thought out plan would have been needed.

This feeling of randomness and floating adrift sums up the way of life, as I perceive it, pretty well. Under this many things that I took as weird and funny at first have paradoxically driven me to be less understanding and less open to other approaches than the ideas I would normally deem efficient. But Georgia is not about efficiency, not about time management and not about what some twenty-years old considers practical or right and while I try to make myself aware of that every day it is a reality I have yet to come to peace with.

Still whenever I discover some new abandoned place in nature, after walking past all the trash and polluted main ways, and find myself in some mystical grove, next to a nearly untouched river or lake, or amidst the mighty mountains of Caucasus, I can feel so at ease, so peaceful and content with life as barely possible any place I´ve been to before.

So yes, after seven months I am still happy about my decision to come here and I am thrilled by the imagination how I might look back and feel, how much more I maybe changed over the next five months. So long